ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
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peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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