Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
