I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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