Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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