the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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