I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
