yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
