bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
