Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize