Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize