You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
