this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize