if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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