hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
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Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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