Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
