I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
