The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
