it hurts more in the daytime
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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