Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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