oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
