mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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