My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
