maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
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Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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