FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
