How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
