Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
