every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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