Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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