yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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