Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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