Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
