sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
