When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
