im having a threesome with these popsicles
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
