Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
