Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
