My brain says no but my pants say off.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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