we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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