Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
