Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
