He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think a kid would responsible me up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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