So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize