it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
