yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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