i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
