worst night to have a conscience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
