It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just googled if crying burns calories
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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