whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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