stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
