the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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