We're facebook friends in real life
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
