It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
