tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
