you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Randomize
