I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
