When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
