So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's the barista slut.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
