I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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